No, I am not anorexic or bulimic. I am just overweight. I am not freakishly huge or anything, just overweight. And I know what my problem is, I just can't fix it. I have tried. My problem is I don't eat. And so when I do eat, it is to much or crappy food, because it was easy. Why don't I eat, you ask? Well here is a rundown of my day:
I wake up and feed the kids. Then I run around getting them ready to go to school. Yes, Austin does help me! After baths, or whatever may be needed, the kids are off to "school" (daycare) and Austin is off to work. Then I just want a few minutes of quiet. I will take my shower, read the paper, yadda yadda. Then I FINALLY (it is probably noon by now) make something quick to eat, watch my soap opera and do any running around that I need to do. I go to work and don't eat until I get home. 9 times out of 10 I forget food to take to work and I WILL NOT eat a Costco hot dog everyday for lunch!! Then I get home, eat something quick (it is almost 10 when I get home.) Relax a little, and go to bed.
Cristy, Me, and Mellisa in Mexico (senior trip, summer of '99)
Me in Hawaii last fall (ewww), hey Mellisa went on that trip too! HA! 
So, I eat 2 times a day. And always quick meals. I get real meals on my days off. But a real meal only twice a week? So my body doesn't know when it is going to get food next, so it stores everything. What is my fricking problem? It is driving me nuts. I would go back on Weight Watchers, which, before Clara, I lost 40 lbs with. But it costs money, something that we don't have much of right now. Thank you economy. I am dreading my 10 year class reunion next summer, only because I am 50 pounds heavier. Which is A LOT!! I am the heaviest I have ever been. I don't want to go and have everyone ask me if I am pregnant, and I will say, "no, we were done having kids 2 years ago." And I know it is my own stinking fault for letting myself get this way. Sigh. I have been trying to keep up with the Wii fit (which is fun!) but I am in the mind set that if I have time to play a video game, I probably should be folding laundry, doing the dishes, or cleaning the bathrooms. I suppose I need to get on the track of not thinking it is a video game. Being lazy sucks. I better go, it is 12:15 and I haven't had anything to eat all morning. AAAHHH.
Am I the only person who has trouble finding time just to eat?
Ahhhh, the life of a mom...I don't even have time to pee! Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI think if you are determined...you'll do it! Some things to suggest...I gained 52 pounds when I was pregnant with Cole...I thought for sure it would take forever to come off...I was determined.
I think what you had mentioned about your body holding onto your food is so true...
I cut up tons of veggies as soon as we got home from shopping...carrots, celery, cucumbers, peppers...put them in containers in the fridge...so when I was hungry, they were right there, ready. Also, I stopped eating after 7:30pm...it was REALLY TOUGH...I like to snack at night...But I allowed myself a cup of tea with milk and sugar and the warmth of the tea actually kept me full and the sweetness cut any cravings for sweets.
Walking, walking, walking...I walked a lot...then it slowly progressed to running...I've had to work it back after each child...it didn't come off easy...I know skinny ol me giving advice...but I so know where you are coming from! I'll show you pictures!! ;)
You are a beautiful woman, mother, and friend no matter what...
I have come to your blog randomly but I certainly get what you're saying.
ReplyDeleteI am currently pregnant but I worry about how I am going to get all the extra weight off when I have two kids under two when, right now I can never remember to get myself lunch or find the time/energy to go for a walk, even though I would actually like to...
Good luck, I hope you can figure out a way to make it work!